disgusting, Fortnite, Harry Potter, Humor, Nisir, Nonsense Stories, Parody, Random, Revenge, Video Games, Violence, Violent

Nisir The Miser 2

After her first Victory Royale, Niser was feeling very confident. In fact, she felt great! Three grappling guns shot out of the helicopters that circled around, and Niser screamed with agony as they severed through several arteries. She grabbed the thick, metal wires and pulled, jerking the helicopters forward. Her weight, which was over fifty tons, pulled the helicopter toward her, and she grabbed both of them with a hand, and smashing them into metal pulp.

Then, just because she was still happy, she jumped on top of the wreck of metal and starting smashing them to a pancake. Meanwhile, in the other helicopter, which was being ignored for now, the pilot grabbed an emergency communicator out of his pocket. He gasped with relief when he turned it on. It wasn’t out of battery. Then, he jammed on the only button on it with his sausage of a thumb. It dropped to the floor, just as Niser the Miser jumped onto the helicopter, crushing all occupants to a fine dust, but the emergency message had already been sent.

Meanwhile, in a school located somewhere in the United Kingdom, Harry Potter jolted awake from sleep. Something was vibrating in his pocket! He screamed in agony, as the phone vibrated again. Harry reached into his deep pockets, and rummaged through a bunch of candy wrappers, a couple of un-eaten cough drops, and a valuable gift card, for 95% off on vbucks. He yanked out the phone, which was sticky and nasty from all of the open candy wrappers. He put his ear to the earpiece, and it stuck like super-glue. It fact, it wouldn’t pull off at all. Harry groaned, and the phone picked up. “You are needed in Minnesota,” said a deep, manly, robotic voice. Harry perked up. He was needed? What kind of emergency?

Harry slipped out of his cushions, and there was a loud pop as Harry apparated away.

Seconds later, back in Minnesota, Harry appeared with the same pop, and fell to the ground, screaming in pain. His left thumb had been left behind at Hogwarts! He hadn’t been concentrating enough on apparating.

Suddenly, there was a load roar, that sounded exactly from the T-rex in Jurassic World. Harry shivered. He remembered the movie. He had screamed himself to sleep because Ron had forced him to watch it.

Harry ran toward the scene, and gasped as he saw the two wrecked helicopters on the ground, and a large, what did the Americans can it, a turd! He yanked out his wand, and bellowed. “Sectumsempra!” Large slits appeared in Niser the Miser, and she shrieked, falling to the ground. A nasty spell arose from the pile.

Harry bellowed again, flicking his wand with a flourish “Avada Kedavra!” The green light shot out of Harry’s wand, and hit Harry in the chest. He screamed. He wasn’t very experienced with the flicking part. He fell, dying to the ground. “I want one last game of Fortnite,” were his last words.

 The End.

Animals, escape, Fortnite, Humor, Inky, Magic, Nonsense Stories

Enki Cat

Enki trotted down the broken-down street, potholes littered the pavement like dirt grew grass. A long metal stick hung from waistband, and clanked around. Cats watched from the flat rooftops of the puerto-rican houses, who were so poor, they couldn’t afford slanted roofs. An enemy Russian sniper-cat took aim at Enki’s head, and fired. The armor-piercing round shot through the air faster than a tank bullet, and broke the speed barrier halfway to the target, Enki.

Faster than the speed of light, Enki turned around. She raised the strange long ornament in her paw, and muttered an ancient magic curse. The bullet ricocheted in thin air, as it had hit a block of titanium, and speed back toward the target. The Russian sniper-cat just had time to widen his eyes when the bullet made contact. The sound was disgusting as Russian cat brain splattered all over the flat puerto-rican roof. “Puny mortals,” Enki thought, and waved her paw with the gold stick in it, causing all of the cats on the roof to rise up into the air. They yowled as the unseen force of Cat-Magic lifted them higher into the air. Higher and higher, until a Boeing 747 flew out of nowhere and sucked the Russian cats into its engine. Sparks exploded out of the engine, and a piece of debris shot of the engine, puncturing the fuel tank, which exploded with massive force, killing everyone on board.

Enki shrugged. She didn’t like Puerto Rican Airlines anymore than a cat liked a dog. The only reason Enki had traveled to Puerto Rico was because the Emperor at the time, King Julius Cheddar, had requested her assistance of eliminating all the stray puerto-rican cats. The puerto-rican cats had rose up with massive numbers, which even the puerto-rican army, a couple dozen mosquitos and a daddy-long-leg for medical assistance, couldn’t handle. In fact, the puerto-rican army couldn’t handle a moderate breeze, for the puerto-rican fighter jets, a couple of F1 Mosquito racers had tiny wings.

Enki pulled a piece of paper out of thin air, and muttered as she wrote. “51 stray cat eliminated,” She tallied up the numbers, and realized that she had only made a tiny dent in the entire population of puerto-rican cats, for 1,523 eliminated cats was up against 15 billion of them.

Then, Enki had an idea. Why hadn’t she thought of this all along? Enki pulled out the newest phone, a gleamed iPhone 1500, which was the exact same as the iPod, with the exception of a cheap graphics card taped to the back of it.

She called King Julius Cheddar.

“Yes? I’m kind of busy right now. The storm is closing in and I have no medkit!” shouted Julius Cheddar, gunfire in the background.  Enki shook her head. He was still playing Fortnite? Everyone knew that Afterblast was the best game. “I need you to extract your troops and the rest of the lingering human population from the island! I’m going to drop a Magic Bomb.”

Julius gasped in pain as his avatar collapsed into nothing, a victim of fall damage. He grasped his stomach, which was feeling the same pain as the character. “Okay, we’ll all be gone in a couple of minutes.”

To be continued.

Random

Random facts

1. The longest time between two twins being born is 87 days.

2. The world’s deepest postbox is in Susami Bay in Japan. It’s 10 meters underwater.

3. In 2007, an American man named Corey Taylor tried to fake his own death in order to get out of his cell phone contract without paying a fee. It didn’t work.

4. A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 mph.

5. In 1923, jockey Frank Hayes won a race at Belmont Park in New York despite being dead — he suffered a heart attack mid-race, but his body stayed in the saddle until his horse crossed the line for a 20–1 outsider victory.

6. Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.

7. Most Muppets are left-handed. (Because most Muppeteers are right-handed, so they operate the head with their favored hand.)

8. It costs the U.S. Mint almost twice as much to mint each penny and nickel as the coins are actually worth. Taxpayers lost over $100 million in 2013 just through the coins being made.

9. Light doesn’t necessarily travel at the speed of light. The slowest light ever recorded was moving at is 38 mph.

10. Casu marzu is a Sardinian cheese that contains live maggots. The maggots can jump up to five inches out of cheese while you’re eating it, so it’s a good idea to shield it with your hand to stop them jumping into your eyes.

11. The loneliest creature on Earth is a whale who has been calling out for a mate for over two decades — but whose high-pitched voice is so different to other whales that they never respond.

13. The spikes on the end of a stegosaurus’ tail are known among paleontologists as the “thagomizer” — a term coined by cartoonist Gary Larson in a 1982 Far Side drawing.

14. During World War II, the crew of the British submarine HMS Trident kept a fully grown reindeer called Pollyanna aboard their vessel for six weeks (it was a gift from the Russians).

15. The northern leopard frog swallows its prey using its eyes — it uses them to help push food down its throat by retracting them into its head.

16. The first man to urinate on the moon was Buzz Aldrin, shortly after stepping onto the lunar surface.

17. In 1567, the man said to have the longest beard in the world died after he tripped over his beard running away from a fire.

18. The Dance Fever of 1518 was a month-long plague of inexplicable dancing in Strasbourg, in which hundreds of people danced for about a month for no apparent reason. Several of them danced themselves to death.

19. Vladimir Nabokov nearly invented the smiley(the emoji).

20. In 1993, San Francisco held a referendum over whether a police officer called Bob Geary was allowed to patrol while carrying a ventriloquist’s dummy called Brendan O’Smarty. He was allowed.

21. Sigurd the Mighty, a ninth-century Norse earl of Orkney, was killed by an enemy he had beheaded several hours earlier. He’d tied the man’s head to his horse’s saddle, but while riding home one of its protruding teeth grazed his leg. He died from the infection.

22. The Dutch village of Giethoorn has no roads; its buildings are connected entirely by canals and footbridges.

23. A family of people with blue skin lived in Kentucky for many generations. The Fulgates of Troublesome Creek are thought to have gained their blue skin through combination of inbreeding and a rare genetic condition known as methemoglobinemia.

24. Powerful earthquakes can permanently shorten the length of Earth’s day, by moving the spin of the Earth’s axis. The 2011 Japan earthquake knocked 1.8 microseconds off our days. The 2004 Sumatra quake cost us around 6.8 microseconds.

25. The first American film to show a toilet being flushed on screen was Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.

26. Melting glaciers and icebergs make a distinctive fizzing noise known as “bergy seltzer”.

27. There is a glacier called “Blood Falls” in Antarctica that regularly pours out red liquid, making it look like the ice is bleeding. (It’s actually oxidized salty water.)

28. In 2008 scientists discovered a new species of bacteria that lives in hairspray.

29. The top of the Eiffel Tower leans away from the sun, as the metal facing the sun heats up and expands. It can move as much as 7 inches.

30. You SHALL follow me!

Devlog, Fortnite, Multiplayer

Afterblast – Devlog #10

I’ve not been writing devlog’s lately.

Here is a list of things that I’ve changed:

I modeled a new character in blender (his name is Cyrax and he is a robot, but please don’t say that to his face). I FINALLY got the avatar mask’s to work, so now I can aim and do anything at the same time with only one animation.

In fortnite, when you join a match, you go to the waiting island for a minute or two to let 100 players fill in.

When you join a battle in Afterblast, everyone goes to the island for 15 seconds, and then when enough people have joined, everyone goes to the battle bus, and no one is left behind, that way you don’t join late in a match and the storm hasn’t closed all the way already.

I’ve also made it so the weapons have much lower damage, but when players die, they go straight back to the lobby. (The weapons had way to much damage, and it was too easy to eliminate players)

There is no fall damage, but I plan to add that later on.

I also added this new level (it lags out so much when you look at it from the battle bus) that was free on the asset store. This is what is looks like:

It’s pretty huge, which is good for a lot of players, and makes it really fun to hide. The previous level, my ripoff of mega mall was really small, and the storm looked really bad with it. Now, the storm has time to shrink slowly, and close in the players. (There is a little glitch where the storm only closes in a little bit but I’ll fix that today).

Also, I’ve made this cool rotation that most FPS games had today, which is when you press multiple keys, for example, if I pressed the forward and the right arrow key, the player would turn diagonal, and if I pressed the backwards key, the player would turn around so you could see his whole body, not just his back.

Oh, and this is what Cyrax looks like:

Today, I’m going to work on building. I’ve already modeled the basic blocks that you build with in fortnite, and now all I have to do is made some keycodes for the building, and raycast forward to check for the nearest grid block, and then instantiate a block when I press a key.

I thought it was pretty complicated when I first wanted to do building, but it is not at all. I just have to snap the objects to a grid. Something looks pretty wacky about the run cycle, like the player isn’t carrying a gun at all, so I’ll modify that also.

The last thing I’ll work on today, is the victory royale, when there is only one person left, you win the game and go back to the lobby.

Here is the new and improved menu. It looks really nice:

disgusting, Fortnite, Harry Potter, Humor, Nisir, Parody, Video Games, Violence, Violent

Dr. Patrick Monkey Mouth

“Hey Patrick! I’m going on a fishing trip! Wanna come?”

Dr. Patrick’s closest friend, Omouja, loved fishing. He would go out every day to the local river and fish buckets of fish.

Dr. Patrick shook his head no. “Sorry Omouja, I’ve got to work on my next invention, a self flushing toilet!” Omouja groaned. “C’mon Patrick! You’ve always been working on that dumb ‘self flushing toilet’, it’s not like no one has invented that yet!”

Suddenly, Dr. Patrick hunched over, his stomach groaning and grumbling with pain. He had accidentally took a cup of water from the toilet, and drank it! Omouja rushed over, and grinned savagely. “I tol’ yeh!” He took another scoopful of the nasty toilet water, and poured it into Dr. Patrick’s open mouth. “Drink up, Bubba!” Dr. Patrick gurgled, but the water slipped down his gullet with a “SHRRRRRRRUP!”

Dr. Patrick grew in size. Two seconds later, he was three times bigger than Omouja. “What’chu say, Omouja?!” Dr. Patrick grabbed Omouja by the head and lifted him up. “AhH!” Omouja screamed in pain as his neck stretched out to keep his body on the ground. If you didn’t look closely, it would’ve looked like when you stretch out airheads. Blood poured from the opening in Omouja’s head, and Dr. Patrick lapped it up like a wild animal. Then, he tossed the empty body of Omouja into the river.

“No one can top me now!!” He bellowed. He stepped forward, and a car siren went off as his foot crushed a tesla. “Hmm?” Dr. Patrick looked down, and was hit in the face by a wave of green energy. He grunted, and stumbled backwards, the force of the attack rocking his whole body like a boat.

” Omae wa mou shindeiru.” A high-pitched voice called out. Dr. Patrick glanced at the floor, where a short, stubby boy was standing, holding out a twig. “And who are you, mortal?” asked Dr. Patrick. “Meh name is jeff!” Harry Potter’s shrill voice said. “I just cast a killing spell, and you didn’t even die! I challenge you to a fortnite battle!” Dr. Patrick laughed, and then grunted. He looked down at his stomach to find a gaping hole in it.

Harry Potter took out two laptops, and Dr. Patrick snatched one up. “Did you even get the newest battle pass?” he asked, disgusted at the default skin standing in the lobby. “No, Gandmamaso would only let me have these laptops and nothing else. $9.99 is a lot to save up you know!”

“1v1 me, idiot,” growled Dr. Patrick, and struggled to move Mr. Default with his huge chubby fingers. Harry shrugged, and quickly finished off Dr. Patrick who was figuring out how to crouch. “Yahh!” Dr. Patrick lashed out at Harry, and when he removed his fist from the cracked concrete, there was a small oil stain where Harry had been just a second before. “LET ME WIN A GAME OF FORTNITE!” He screamed. Dr. Patrick got up, and ran at the nearest skyscraper. He rammed into it like a battering ram, and the building collapsed. But Dr. Patrick wasn’t done. He picked up the building like a bat, and swung it at all of the neighboring buildings. “I WANT 10,000 VBUCKS!”

The skyscrapers went up in smoke, and history.

Dr. Patrick never won a game of fortnite.

disgusting, Nisir, Nonsense Stories, Violence, Violent

Nisir the Miser

Nisir poured a cupful of uranium into a couple liters of urine. Her mouth broke into a wide grin as the mixture bubbled up, and started to froth. It turned a bright neon green, and then started to transform into all sorts of colors.

A couple of her colleagues rushed over, and clapped as Nisir presented her potion to Dr. Patrick Monkey Mouth. His story was of a weird one.

Dr. Patrick had gone fishing in the amazon rain forest for a couple of days, the last day, when he was collecting fish from the fishing lines, and putting them in a bucket, a wild orangutan had swung down from the branches, scooped Dr. Patrick up, and taken him to it’s base. The orangutan completed an ancient ritual, dancing over Dr. Partrick, each dance move transforming more of Dr. Partrick into a orangutan. By the time the rescue party had discovered Dr. Patrick, almost half of his body looked like a monkey, and only his head, with the exception of his lips, were human. In fact, his lips were as big as sausages, and they sagged down toward the floor. He was brought back to civilization, where he continued to teach college students. Even though he lived in Pennsylvania, he spoke Monkey, from the orangutan’s ancient process.

Dr. Patrick hooted like an owl, and then scratched his armpits. Nisir nodded, grabbed the vial, and gulped it down. Everyone gasped, and Nisir gasped in pain. Her hair began to fall off, and her skin turned brown and soft. Her eyes turned a nasty pee yellow color, and when the transform seemed complete, Nisir wasn’t standing there anymore. Instead in her place, was a hug turd! A brown thick liquid was dripping off of the turds skin, and where Nisir’s eyes used to be, small beady eyes took their place. Dr. Patrick yowled like a orangutan, and scrambled out of there faster than beating eggs.

Nisir screamed as she looked down at herself, and slammed against the wall. But the transformation into a creature wasn’t finished! She began to grow, bigger, until her head was smashing against the hard concrete science lab ceiling. The students of the science class ran, screaming, as Nisir grew even bigger than the three story college building. Nisir smiled, power coursing through the veins of her new form. She smiled, and coagulating poop chunks fell out of her arms and pinned some poor man (who was playing a game of fortnite on his laptop) to the concrete sidewalk. He screamed for help, his character was dying in the storm! No one came to his rescue. Nisir stepped forward, crushing the man, and picked up the laptop. His screams stopped suddenly. She moved the character, and killed the last player. She had won her first game of fortnite!

The college security was called, but when they opened fire to the huge poop, the bullets just harmlessly passed through the thick brownish mush like butter. Nisir howled as a bullet passed through her eye, and she lashed out an arm, wiping not only the security out, but more than half of the programming building. How would the beast be stopped?

To be continued…

Uncategorized

The Mehlamt

There was once a Grandpa who lived on the moon. Three years ago, a space shuttle had come to the moon to collect rock samples. On the space shuttle, a tourist named Ms. Mehlamt wanted to see the moon for herself. Ms. Mehlamt was the opposite of skinny, and took up a whole three seats. She also had a ravenous appetite. When the shuttle was about to takeoff from Earth, Ms. Mehlamt demanded a feast of fresh food. Since she had paid one cent, (Her whole life savings) she could not get food until the shuttle was in orbit with the moon. Ms. Mehlamt had a fit. She rocked her seats and outside, the whole ship wobbled and was about to tip over! Just then, an astronaut named Captain Yartoon shoved a block of frozen strawberries in the black hole of Ms. Mehlamt ’s mouth.

The block of strawberries was so cold, Ms. Mehlamt froze and the shuttle returned to its normal state. The rocket’s thrusters angled to balance the ship, and the ignition lighted. The whole shuttle fought the gravity and the weight of Ms. Mehlamt , but luckily, the Captain turned the boosters to %100. The space ship lifted off and they continued the trip into the atmospheres. Grumpy Grandpa, who had come from an alien civilization on Mars, had space swam from Mars to the Moon to spy on Earth. Grumpy Grandpa was smart enough to realize that if he space swam to Earth, he would disintegrate if the pull of the orbit sent him into the last atmospheres.

Now, Grumpy Grandpa was stuck on the moon, bored out of his mind.  The only thing to do was drink frozen moon ice from the north and south pole and to make dust castles from moon dust. Since the gravity on the moon was one-sixth of Earth’s gravity, Grumpy Grandpa could make a castle big enough to hold a hundred people, only to watch the dust slowly melt down into the moon again. The only thing that Grumpy Grandpa had brought to the moon was a telescope and some clothes. The telescope was no use because when he was space swimming through the rings of Jupiter, a field of rocks broke the glass of the telescope. When Grumpy Grandpa saw a rocket coming for the moon, he got excited. Grumpy Grandpa leaped into the air, but soon realized his mistake as he sailed out of the moon’s gravity field. The space shuttle headed straight for Grumpy Grandpa! He tried to move out of the way, but one thing was wrong.

The shuttle was going to fast! It rammed into Grumpy Grandpa’s hard stomach and Grumpy Grandpa vomited in his face. The camera man on the shuttle saw Grumpy Grandpa crashed into the point of the shuttle and called an emergency landing. Before the ship landed, Ms. Mehlamt put on her customized space suit and jumped out of the hatch that had to be widened about four feet just so she could get in. Moon’s one-sixth of Earth’s gravity didn’t apply to Ms. Mehlamt , since she was just too heavy. Instead the gravity acted one hundred times more of Earth’s Gravity, yanking Ms. Mehlamt down. This only applied to Ms. Mehlamt though. Remember that. The ship was about as tall as the Empire State Building. Ms. Mehlamt hurtled toward the ground, screaming and blubbering in fear. The ground quickly approached.

She hit the moon’s surface and screamed in pain as a couple of her bones snapped. The whole moon shock like a moon-quake was coming through. The shaking continued. The Captain from the space shuttle knew that the shuttle would tip over again soon. He fired the retro-rockets at full blast and the ship took off again, not even knowing that they had left Ms. Mehlamt back on the moon. Grumpy Grandpa knew that the whole moon would explode from the shaking. He had finally come to consciousness, and was space swimming as far from the moon as he could. The moon exploded, with Ms. Mehlamt still on it. Fragments of a chunky fleshy like thing floated around the exploded moon. The only thing that remained were a couple of moon rocks and some fragments of Ms. Mehlamt ’s space suit.

The End.

Animals, disgusting, Goat, Humor, Milk, Violence, Violent

Farmer Sihi 2

Farmer Sihi clopped down the mountain trail, chewing on grass and aluminum cans. Ever since the almost fatal goat bite one of her goat’s had given her, Farmer Sihi had started the long and painful process of being transformed into a goat. Her human brain had shrunk to the size of a bottle cap, and when you shook her skull, you could hear a rattling noise inside.

Farmer Sihi used one of her many goat legs to kick a rock over the side of the cliff. She peered over the edge, and screamed with fright as her goat brain struggled to process the unbelievable sight. You could see mountains for almost a hundred miles looking straight ahead.

Then, there was the sound of a blowing concord, that signaled the end of the day. It was time to head back to the ranch. Farmer Sihi pulled out her raggity old hang glider that was falling apart, and strapped herself in. Then, with a leap forward, Farmer Sihi was lifted off the cliff by a unseen force, and went straight up into the sky. Farmer Sihi struggled to free herself from the straps, but when she looked down, the ground was so far away. What was pulling her up? Farmer Sihi made up her mind. She would either die in space, or die trying to free herself.

The idiotic goat undid all the safety straps, and took one last breath, as the air was thinning. Then, Farmer Sihi leaped from the hang glider. On the way down to the ground, as wind rushed past, Farmer Sihi prayed for a miracle.

When she hit the ground, bones brutally snapped, and the goat couldn’t even had a second to feel the pain. Farmer Sihi lay drowning in her own blood, and waited. Then, there was a rumbling in the path, and when it stopped, a old wrinkled prune of a person was standing in front of Farmer Sihi. “Hmm, you will taste good in milk soup!” said the rickety voice of none other than, GANDMAMASO!

She scooped of the remains of Farmer Sihi, and slide them into a big plastic baggie. Then, Gandmamaso walked the distance back to her Yurt. Farmer Sihi was watching the whole incident from above. She watched in horror as Gandmamaso poured Farmer Sihi’s remains into a huge pot of a whitish-yellowish liquid, and stirred.

The soup was done.

Uncategorized

Pre Aunty Mehlamt

There once lived a mean, grumpy, Pre-Aunty named “Mehlamt”. Mehlamt was a alien from Pluto dressed  as a human There also lived two boys named Billy and Jim. Ms. Mehlamt lived up the street from where Billy and Jim lived, and would always come over to their house to ask for food, butter, barrels of frying oil, and to beat Billy and Jim up. They called Ms. Mehlamt “Pre-Aunty Mehlamt”, or “PAM” for short because she wasn’t married to their uncle yet.

Billy and Jim were fed up of Pre-Aunty Mehlamt beating them up and taking all of their food.  PAM was so big, she couldn’t even fit in her car, so she had to buy a semi-truck so she could drive. So one day, they decided to make a trap for her. In the morning, PAM would come around on her semi and honk her horn. Then Billy and Jim would have to carry carts of food into the back of the truck, and then PAM would come out and spank their butts for no reason. It was early in the morning, and Jim and Billy were busy finishing their plan. They had stuck Vinegar and Baking Soda in the boxes, so when they pressed a button, the baking soda would mix with the vinegar and it would explode in PAM’s face. Just then, Billy heard the familiar honking of the semi-truck at the front door. They carried the box out of the door and put it in the cabin of the semi-truck. Then they snuck back into the house. When PAM had left, Billy pressed the button of the remote control,  and he heard the beeping of the alarm in the box going off. The box exploded with thousands of tons of force. They could hear PAM’s scream as she flew into space, covered from fat toe to huge buttery , oily, hair. It landed on the moon.

As PAM floated around, the big butter ball realized that it couldn’t breathe.

RIP.

disgusting, Harry Potter, Humor, Linguini, Nonsense Stories, Parody, Prison/Jail, Revenge

Harry Potter goes to jail.

Harry Potter groaned as he rolled over in his sleep, drool covering his whole mouth. The rough, hard concrete floor hurt his tush as he turned onto his back, and he yowled in pain. Harry jolted upright, his dreams about flying bananas and cars vanishing. He rubbed his behind as he inspected his surroundings. How did he get here? Harry wondered. He had been peacefully sleeping in his grandma’s house just last night. Harry shrugged. He was homeless, and had nowhere to sleep. If someone was going to let him have a straw bed, he wouldn’t care, as long as he could sleep. Just then, the door to the jail cell opened, and a mean, gruff looking russian bodyguard walked in. Harry started up at the 300 pounds of muscle, and shrieked in fear. He tried to run, but the russian blocked his path to the door. He grabbed Harry by the head, and tried to pluck him off the ground. Harry’s chubby body struggled to be lifted off the ground, and even the russian was having a hard time picking him up.

“Breakfast”. He grunted instead, shoving a skinny Harry outside, who had some how melted all the fat that had appeared on him.

Harry’s eyes went wide as he looked out of the jail cell door. Dozens of crosswalks spanned across the hotel, and lead to different rooms. They must have been for the butlers, of if the people renting the rooms wanted to get there fast.

Harry gasped, and he pulled out his feeble twig of a wand. He pointed it at the crosswalks, and screamed in a high-pitched voice: “Diffindo!” He shouted. All the crosswalks were cut in half, and fell to the jail grounds below. Now the hotel didn’t look like a prison! Harry grinned, and raced through the crowds of gaping prison occupants.

A weedy, linguini looking man approached Harry. His head twitched, and his hands moved restlessly. The man was shorter than Harry, who had a max height of 3 feet.

“Y–yuh wa-nn-na-a hee-llp-p me ex-ca-pe pr-ii-sson” Stuttered the man, who had a great smile stretched across his face. Harry looked at the man in disgust. A bunch of mean, buff, brutes surrounded the two. “Everyone! Fight in the bathroom!” Shouted one loudmouth. They all started chanting. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

The linguini man pranced around the small circle, and brought in the power of Wu-Gu Magic.

The crowd got huge, and they all chanted the single word.

It was then that Harry’s tiny peanut brain realized what was happening. He yanked out his wand, and shouted like a madman, his voice deeper than a gorilla. “Avacado Kedavra!” A green light flew out of Harry’s wand tip, and shot toward the poor linguini man. It hit his chest with a THUD, and the man curled up and died. The crowd realized what happened. Their chants of “Fight!” wound down like a baby toy running out of batteries.

Harry smiled devilishly, and brought his wand out for the last time. He grunted “Die!” Everyone collapsed, including Harry. Then, each person’s head rolled off, chopping cleanly off.

The End.