Uncategorized

Amy Neilson the Murderer

Amy Neilson was a teacher for an online course and taught Natural Sciences, the dumbest subject on the face of earth. What the students didn’t know was that Amy had a reputation for killing people that got on her nerves.

There was this kid name Robert. He was the average idiot, with a 0.1 GPA. Amy Neilson hated Robert. Every test, he would just circle the same answer, over and over again. His highest test score was almost 10%.

Lets just put it this was. One day, Robert was having a blast at the park, and next, his dead body was stuffed into a trash can. The next day, when the website released a new lesson, there was blood all over Amy Neilson’s face.

Robert’s friends had to get revenge!

They met up at Robert’s grave site to discuss their plan. Pipy took out an AK-47. “I say we each get one of these babies and make cheddar cheese out of Neilson!” Pipy says. They all agree. At 6:00 PM (they wanted to wait until dark for more suspense) everyone was going to bring one of their guns and sneak into Amy Neilson’s house

Pipy opened the front door, which opened very creakily. Pipy motioned for the others to follow, and they all stealthy scampered into the house. It was dark, and real human heads lined the walls. Pipy covered his mouth, trying not to scream, when he saw Robert’s head on the wall. His face still had a look of pure terror.

Everyone froze when they heard this sound coming from a bedroom. It was snarling and some blood spurting on the walls. Pipy slowly crept forward, and peeked into the door. He almost screamed when he saw Amy Neilson hunched over a dead body, digging into the meat. Amy Neilson slowly turned around when she saw Pipy. “Hello there, child,” she croaked, her face covered in intestines and blood. Pipy stared down at the body, and realized that it was Robert! He picked up his gun, and pressed the trigger, aiming right at Amy Neilson’s head. He screamed a shrill scream as bullets streamed out of the nozzle of the gun, and rattled into Amy Neilson. Amy slumped to the floor, dead as a rat who was just poisoned.

Pipy walked back into the “living” room and sewed Robert’s head back onto his body. Robert came back to life, and they went on living.

The End.

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Animals, App Store, Cat, Devlog, Video Games

Devlog #13

Two more cats have been added to Springy Cat. A Leopard, and Inky, my black cat.

I am going to put a Feature Item (like in the Fortnite item shop), so I don’t have to display all the skins at once. It’ll make the player seem like there are a lot of skins, because all of them aren’t being showed.

Also, I added an upgrade, the Helmet. The helmet gives you extra health and protection against enemies. Fifteen lives to be exact. It does look really weird on the cat when it’s opening its mouth. I’ll have to draw another helmet for the opening mouth.

The purchasing system works very well, and I like the way it feels.

When you click on the item you want to buy, it takes you to this screen, telling you a little bit about the item. and if you don’ have enough KittyCoin and click on the “get kittycoin” button, It’ll take to to the KittyCoin shop.

Right now, there is only three items in the KittyCoin shop, but I’ll be adding a couple of starter packs, and bundles for cheaper. The only thing is that the KittyCoin price can’t be less than $0.99, so the 1000 KittyCoin is $0.99, and it goes up.

On Dead Earth, Gary has surprisingly published a 45 minute tutorial, not a 2 hour long one. This time, we are working on screaming zombies, so when the zombie sees you, instead of chasing you right away, it screams to let the other zombies in the area know that you’re in their range, and every zombie in a radius will come chasing you. Its a little fun to play now.

Yesterday, I did the Audio tutorial, so I’m adding sound effects to it.

About a week ago, my best dream came true; one of my friends on fortnite gifted me the Battle Pass! I got two skins, and I’m grinding on getting to battle tier 100, and completing all the other challenges. I need to win a game of solo to complete this challenge, and to get that cool Victory glider. In my whole life playing fortnite, I’ve never got a single victory royale in fortnite, but I’ve gotten so close. I’ve gotten so good at fortnite, that I eliminated seven people in solo in one game. That’s the most kills I’ve ever gotten, but now I need to learn how to stay alive a little longer until the last person remains.

Sometimes, I switch back to the default skin to see if people will give me a free win. Surprisingly, fortnite players are pretty mean to defaults. Yesterday, I died by fall damage with four kills. (I jumped into the floating air thingy, and the air slipstream leading up to it turning off right as I jumped. I had a rift to go, but I don’t know why I didn’t use it. I forgot I guess.

I’ve been thinking about after Springy Cat, I should make a computer game like dead earth, but instead of you being the person, everyone else are humans, and you are the only zombie stranded in a city. You have to escape for the humans. Its a pretty good idea, I think.

Animals, Cat, Harry Potter, Humor, Nonsense Stories, Parody, Revenge, Violence, Violent

Zarry Sotter

Zarry snorted in his sleep. His chubby hand clenched his black wand, which was covered in his own mucus.

Then, Jermione’s cat, Billie, jumped up on his bed. Zarry shrieked, and jumped up like a cannon. Zarry’s wand hand flicked, and he cast a killing curse at Billie. Billie instantly dropped to the floor, dead before the poor black cat could hit the floor. Zarry stood up and yawned. He was very hungry. Zarry picked up the dead body of Billie, and cackled like a witch. “Get a piece of that, dumb cat!” Then, he walked out of the dormitory, and jogged down the flight of stairs leading to the great hall. Zarry lay down the cat on one of the tables, and cast a fire spell to roast Billie. Flames erupted around Billy, roasting him with a grill.

Zarry grinned, and left the wand on the table, bellowing flames onto the cat. A rancid smell soon filled the dormitory. It reeked of burning fur and burnt meat. Zarry walked back into the dormitory and spotted the grilled cat laying on the table. A pile of burnt fur had gathered on the floor. Zarry grinned like an idiotic, and dug into Billie. “Mm! Tastes like chicken!” he exclaimed. He finished off the whole cat, bones and all, and left the bones on the table for whoever was hungry.

Bron, Zarry’s best friend, snorted in his sleep. “They gonna eat me!” Yah!!!” Bron screamed. He writhed around in his bed, screaming and spitting, until he rolled off his bed, and hit his head hard on the floor. The best must’ve been really high up in the air, because Bron didn’t get back up. Zarry giggled. “Bron! You can get back up!” Bron couldn’t. Zarry strutted over to Ron’s body, and flipped him over. “Bron? BRON!!” Bron’s face was replaced of with one of Moldebort’s minions, Ratface. Ratface wiggles his eyebrows, and slaps Zarry across the face. “You’ll be a fine addition to my shrunken head collection, Zarry!” Ratface cackles. “In fact, I’ll have to add an extra category, extra EXTRA shrnuken heads! You’re brain can’t add two numbers together!”

Ratface cackled again. Zarry grabbed his wand, and hid it behind his back. It was still covered in mucus and Billie’s burnt fur. Ratface turned around to see who was watching, and Zarry took the chance to cast a killing spell. “Avacado Medavra!” A green light shot out of Zarry’s wand, and Zarry flew backwards. The idiotic brute had pointed his wand at himself. Zarry died before he could hit the ground. Zarry muttered his last, dying words. “That’s what I get for eating Billie,” and he rasped one last time and died, a victim of his own stupidity.

The End.

Uncategorized, Violence, Violent

I want vbuks

Billy looked at the tattered credit card in his hands and felt sad. It only had ten dollars on it. He had spent the rest on 4k monitors, thousand dollars graphics cards, and a gaming mouse.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Happy surroundings. He had always loved cartoonish Battle Island with its scary, shiny snow. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sad.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Rox Char. Rox was a brave author with scrawny hands and wide warts.

Billy gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a peculiar, optimistic, cocoa drinker with scrawny hands and dirty warts. His friends saw him as a vacant, vigilant volcano that had blew up tilted towers. Once, he had even revived a dying default skin that had fell from a tall cliff.

But not even a peculiar person who had once revived a dying, deaf person, was prepared for what Rox had in store today.

The drizzle rained like singing monkeys, making Billy shiver.

As Billy stepped outside and Rox came closer, he could see the slippery glint in her eye.

“I am here because I want Some vbucks,” Rox bellowed, in a fierce tone. She slammed her fist against Billy’s chest, with the force of 5863 puppies. “My parents won’t let me get the battle pass.” Billy tried to hide the credit card behind his back, but Rox had seen it. “Give me that!” Rox tried to snatch the credit card away, but Billy stuffed it in his pocket.”

Billy looked back, even more barmy and still holding the tattered rock. “Rox, I am your father,” he replied.

They looked at each other with anxious feelings, like two glorious, gentle goldfish dancing at a very incredible snow storm, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two sweaty soccer skins building to the beat.

Suddenly, Rox lunged forward and tried to punch Billy in the face. Quickly, Billy grabbed the tattered credit card and brought it down on Rox’s skull. Bone’s cracked, and blood spurted out of the hole in Rox’s brain. Billy screamed as liquid sprayed all over his body, coating it in a thick layer of red blood.

Rox’s scrawny hands trembled and her wide warts wobbled. She looked healthy, her body raw like a panicky, poised piano.

Then she let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground, a pool of blood collecting at the floor. Moments later Rox Char was dead.

Billy Johnsey went back inside and made himself a nice mug of cocoa, but not before he bought the battle pass just for himself.

Devlog

Devlog #12

I finally got the in app purchases to work in Springy Cat. It turns out, in F-22, I didn’t add the necessary IAP Listener to the game, which detects when you want to purchase something, and takes you to the checkout. I’m going to update F-22 today, and it will hopefully work. (I hope so)

I also added some animations to the UI, to make it more user freindley, and will maybe get more installs. I’m mostly basing the UI off of Fortnite, because I love it so much. Like when you want to view and item, it takes you to a screen aside from the shop where you can get info on the object you want to purchase before you do. Maybe I’ll get more purchases from the shop this way.

If you don’t have “KittyCoin”, the game currency, you can click on a button (as seen in the image above) to take you to buy KittyCoin. For 1000 KittyCoin, you pay $.99, but the font won’t support all those cool symbols like $ and ., so I changed my font to one that supports any symbols, but looks almost exactly like the previous one. As soon as you purchase your first KittyCoin from the shop, you’ll be like a VIP, so you’ll want to buy more KittyCoin.

I was thinking about adding something like the Battle Pass in Springy Cat, but it’s only a mobile game, not some shooter game like Fortnite, plus, its not like people are going to spend that much time playing it. Instead, I’ll add Bundles, which come with skins, upgrades, and KittyCoin for a lot less than buying everything all together. For example, for $.99, you can get 1,000 KittyCoin, not enough to get the Tiger skin, but the Tiger Bundle with cost $.99, but it comes with the Tiger Skin, 500 KittyCoin, and an upgrade for the half as much as the Tiger Skin itself, so If you want the Tiger skin, it actually costs more to get it by itself.

I don’t want to get like Gary Simmons, but I have to write at least 500 words in each blog.

Oh, I’m on lesson 41 in Dead Earth, and its actually really cool. I’m excited to do the next tutorial, which is screaming zombies. Basically, when a zombie sees you, instead of chasing you down, it will scream, and alerted any zombies in the area to you. In the last lesson, (54 minutes) Gary the garish brute made a lesson on how to make lots of zombies in the game (copy and paste xD)

I’ll see you in the next devlog.

Uncategorized

Devlog #11

So I finally got the shop system to work in Springy Cat. You can now buy items, like more KittyCoin, the currency, and other skins and upgrades. I was going to use “Catnip” as the main currency, but didn’t know how I would draw it, so I just made a vbuck ripoff called KittyCoin, which I modeled in blender. Here is what it looks like:

I was going to make stripes in the edges like the real vbucks, but it wouldn’t work. Plus, I think it looks fine anyways.

So I exported the models from blender into unity, and used that image above for the image to buy KittyCoin.

I think I might change the font though, because it doesn’t support some text, and it looks to kiddish.

My next game might be a game is going to be a pc one, I’m kind of tired of making mobile games. You only have a very small screen, but on pc, there is a lot of space for more art and gameplay.

In Dead Earth, I’m on the 40th tutorial. Yesterday, I did a tutorial where the zombie can hear your footsteps and track you down, and if you jump or run, that emits a sound that the zombies “listens” and goes alerted.

Uncategorized

Bad Baby

Fats was a baby that lived with her parents. But she wasn’t an ordinary baby. At night, Fats would transform into a beast, eighteen feet tall and built like steel.

One particular day, Fats was getting washed in the bathtub, when her mom accidentally left a phone on the toilet cover. Fats looked at the phone, then back at the tub of water, and grinned. She jumped out of the bathtub, grabbed her mom’s phone with her greasy, dirty hands, and jumped back into the bathtub. The phone was dirty! It needed to be washed. Fats dunked the phone under the water, washing the screen first. A couple more dunks under the water and it would be sparkling clean.

Fat’s mom walked in the bathroom and shrieked. Her phone! Her precious phone! She reached down and snatched the phone from Fats, and tried blowing on it, with no luck. How would she text while she was driving? How would she live?! “Fats!! BAD BABY!” Fat’s mom croaked, tears splattering onto the floor.

Fats knew that she had done something wrong, but she just kept grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Later that night, after Fats parents had gone out shopping for a new phone, Fats was busying trying to escape from her personal prison. It was a room constructed out of heavy foam blocks, so heavy that it took two people to lift a single block up. “Eng!” Fats grunted as she tried to lift a block, and fell back onto the floor, unsuccessful. The only thing Fats could see was the huge, white moon. The moon!

Fats started to transform into Beast Baby, a monstrosity. She growled out with anger, her own skin turning purple with rage. “Let me OUT!” But what came out wasn’t baby, or anything english. It was pure irritation. Fats swung her arm upwards, snapping the roof foam block in half with a single swipe, and clambered out of the prison. She was free!

Luckily, the car was still in parked in the garage. Fats smashed her way into the garage, and ripped open the garage door. She tried to climb into the car, like most people do, but couldn’t fit. She was too big! Fats screamed out with annoyance, and smashed the car roof in like aluminum foil. She would have to walk to the mall.

A couple minutes later, Fats arrived at the entrance to the mall. She jumped over a thousand feet into the air, and came barreling down, right over the middle roof of JCPenny. People screamed and scattered like flies. “Bad baby!” Fats beat her chest with her fists like a gorilla.

Comedy, disgusting, Humor, Nonsense Stories

Brue goes to Alaska

“Free plane ticket to Alaska!” read the slip of paper that Brue had pulled out of the Froot Loops box. Bruce spit out the cereal and choked. A free visit to Alaska? YES!

Brue ran into his room and started packing up his suitcase. He would need a bunch of things, like a metal saw, for instance, for building and igloo. In went Brue’s pajamas, toothbrush, and toilet paper. Before long, the suitcase was trembling with the weight of all the stuff Brue had stuffed inside of it. “Now its time to go to the airport!” Brue announced.

Brue’s grumpy old grandma came hobbling into the living room, where Brue was busy trying to put on his shoes “Engh!” Brue grunted, trying to tie the laces. “Where do you think you’re going, boah?” Brue’s grandma croaked. Brue looked up, his shoes finally tied. He handed the plane ticket to his grandma, who’s fake jaw dropped open like a rock. “Wait for me” she grumbled, hobbling to her bedroom to pack, but Brue was already out the door. He grabbed the car keys from off of the keychain rack by the porch, and hopped into the car. “Wait!!! wait!” His grandma came hobbling as fast as she could, but he started the car, and backed out of the driveway, his short, stubby legs accidentally hitting the gas pedal.

THUMP

“What was that?” Brue asked. His grandma had disappeared from sight. Brue changed the gear, and actually backed out. There was another THUMP as the car rolled over something. Probably a pigeon, Brue told himself. He turned around, and looked at the driveway.

“GRANDMA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE DRIVEWAY? THAT’S WHERE THE CAR GOES!” But his grandma didn’t respond. Brue shrugged, and sped off.

When Brue got to the airport, he “parked” the car on the side of the dropoff area, accidentally running over a couple of animals on the way. Brue hopped out of the car, grabbed his suitcase, and locked the car doors, walking into the airport terminal. “Oh no! I’m five minutes late!” Brue cried. Everyone looked at him as Brue started running toward the escalators going up.

“Sir!” Si- boy! You have to check in your luggage!” Brue ran past the security guard, and up the stairs. The suitcase slowing him down significantly. The TSA checkpoint up ahead was crowded to to the brim. He was never going to get through that in time. Brue ran faster, and ducked at the last minute. The guards chasing him went down as they hit the railing. Brue slide easily under it, his six-year-old body was small enough to fit through anything. He walked up to the gate, panting. “Hello there, can I have your ticket?” asked the flight attendant standing at the gate entrance. “Oh man! I gave it to grandma!” Brue face-palmed. he turned around, stepping on a presusure plate which triggered a machine gun to pop up. Brue ducked down to tie his shoes, and the bullets whizzed past his head, plowing into the flight attendant. She gasped, and fell to the ground. “Can I go in now?” asked Brue, not knowing what had happened.

The flight attendant nodded, trying to tell Brue to call the ambulance. Brue squealed like a little kid (he was one), stepping over the dying lady, pulling the suitcase behind him. There was a THUMP as the 140 pound suitcase ran over the flight attendant, and Brue was on the airplane!

Uncategorized

The Pastry Thief

Jimmy got in his car, closed the door, and started it. He was so hungry from all day, and needed something to eat. He backed out of the driveway, and turned onto the road. The closest store to Jimmy was this bakery that sold bread and cookies. Maybe he could find something to eat there. Jimmy put in the directions into google maps, and started the ten minute drive.

On the way there, he was listening to the radio, when it immediately stopped. “WARNING!” a robotic voice blasted from the speakers. Jimmy, startled, slammed on the brakes and turned down the volume. “We have had an breakout from the local prison. Please be aware when you go outside, and lock all off your doors going outside.” Jimmy almost screamed. His mama had gone to jail when she had been caught mixing dog poop into the mayor’s brownies. He had a million questions. did his mama escape also? There was a “beep” and the radio continued. Jimmy was shooketh.

When Jimmy got to the bakery, he was surprised to see that nobody there. He shrugged, got out of the car, and walked inside. The baker was standing behind the counter, playing F-22 on his phone. “Hi, welcome to chile’s,” the baker said. “Yes, can I have this pastry?” Jimmy asked, pointing to a pastry that looked like a cross between a donut and a burger. The baker nodded, bend down, and handed Jimmy the treat “That’ll be $1.50”, the baker said. It was expensive, but the pastry was almost as big as a plate. Jimmy rummaged through his wallet, and handed the guy two dollars.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and crashed against the wall. A buff looking woman with bazooka arms stormed into the room. Jimmy spun around, and almost fainted. “Mama!” he cried, not with delight, but fear. The woman grabbed Jimmy by the head, and with the other hand, grabbed the pastry. “Gimme dat!” and stuffed it into her mouth. “Delicious!” The, Jimmy’s mama opened her mouth wide and stuffed Jimmy down.

The End.

Comedy, Nonsense Stories, Violence, Violent, Writing Practice

Billy goes on the hyperl∞p

Billy waits at the terminal for the hyperl∞p, excited to test out this new technology. Drops of sweat splatter onto the smooth white concrete floor as Billy tries to hide the rock behind his back, but its really big, and the sharp edges poke into Billy back. “Yuh!” Billy yelps. A security guard turns around, looking at Billy. “Its fine. I just have some hiccups!” Billy assures the guard.

“Yuh” Billy yelps again. This security guard ignores Billy this time. Billy looks at his watch. Its 1:24. Six minutes until the next carrier arrives. He looks down, and his sweat is pooled on the floor, almost an inch deep. Would it just arrive! Billy is desperate.

Six minutes later, there is a humming noise. Billy looks at his watch. 1:30! The humming noise gradually gets louder, and the carrier arrives, right on time. Billy fights back a grin, and hops into the carrier. A bunch of people, who are heading east, stay in the back of the carrier. Its sleek, white paint, and La-Z-boy chair are enough to drool over. The maximum capacity of this carrier is eight-five people. The carrier backs out of the pickup station, smoother that a butt-cheek on a stick, and turn around, facing the pacific ocean. It is going to be about a four long ride from New York to England on the hyperl∞p, most of the smooth ride underwater, and the rest above-water. The carrier picks up speed. The mph counter on the wall goes up from 10 mph to 50 in about two seconds, but Billy barely feels the acceleration. To bad his boss, Boabey, gave him clear instructions on what to do. Billy can feel the train tilt forward, as it descends into the underwater track. The tube that the train travels through opens up a little bit, and it suddenly turns into glass.

Billy holds his seat tight when he sees the waterline. The ocean is rough today, and waves smash against the thick, titanium-enforced glass. The train is under the water now. Lights in the train slowly turn on as they descend the tube. The mph counter now breaking 471 mph. The top speed of one of these long-haul-carriers are almost Mach 1, or 767 mph. Billy pulls out his phone. Boabey had told him to chuck the rock out the window at the Shark Exhibit, when they were passing the shark habitat.

They are rapidly approaching it. Billy gulps, and hurls the rock with all his might at the train window. It smashes into a billion pieces, and the rock continues to fly, smashing into the outer tube and breaking it.

Water sprays into the carrier, and Billy screams as he is bombarded with nasty sea water. The train immediately stops. The no-pressure tubing that the train travels through is now filled with water. The train fills with water. Billy gurgles his last breath, and dies of his own idiocy.

The End.